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The most important day (correction)
Message de kichtoune posté le 27-01-2007 à 20:08:15 (S | E | F | I)
coucou
voici ma rédaction je crois qu'il doit y avoir quelques fautes vous pouvez me les corriger svp?? Merci beaucoup^^
The most important day in my life is my brother’s birth. I remember the main blue tilling staircase where I asked to my grandmother why Mummy and Daddy had gone so hastily. She answered me that Mummy was going to give birth to a little brother. A little brother? Who is he? I think that I have perceived his coming like an intrusion. I might go back in the lounge where I switched on the television.
In hospital a nurse held a doll out to me. She offered me the most radiant smile as she could make. “Your brother wished to give you a gift for his arrival in your life” I accepted the present and thought how much this stranger was provident.
Then, I saw him in my mother’s arms. A tiny living being with a crumpled face and close-eyed who never stopped to sleep. I felt disappointed that he wasn’t interested in us. What did he wait for? We were gathered around my mother’s bed hopping he made something. Despite the fact that he just came into the world, he seemed lifeless. As soon as he yawned or moved his hand everyone admired him. I could do as much as him (je pouvais en faire autant que lui) but no one paid attention to me.
When I took my brother out of my arms all my resentment had disappeared. How could I resist to this embodied innocence? He was so frail. I didn’t know yet what character he will (would?) have or if he will (would) be likely to love me but I foresaw some projects. I imagined our lives five years later and I wondered what kind of relationship I will have with him. I hopped he had been gentle and he had let me watching my favourite cartoons. (j’espérais qu’il soit gentil et qu’il me laisse regarder mes dessins animés preferes)
I bore him a grudge a bit (je lui en voulais un petit peu). Mummy was pale-faced. He had exhausted her. In any case I wasn’t lonely anymore.
Today I don't see a day more important than this one (aujourd'hui je ne vois pas de jour plus important que celui ci). He is at the level of my expectations. I think that the brotherly love is one of the deepest love which can exist.
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Modifié par bridg le 27-01-2007 20:18
titre
Message de kichtoune posté le 27-01-2007 à 20:08:15 (S | E | F | I)
coucou
voici ma rédaction je crois qu'il doit y avoir quelques fautes vous pouvez me les corriger svp?? Merci beaucoup^^
The most important day in my life is my brother’s birth. I remember the main blue tilling staircase where I asked to my grandmother why Mummy and Daddy had gone so hastily. She answered me that Mummy was going to give birth to a little brother. A little brother? Who is he? I think that I have perceived his coming like an intrusion. I might go back in the lounge where I switched on the television.
In hospital a nurse held a doll out to me. She offered me the most radiant smile as she could make. “Your brother wished to give you a gift for his arrival in your life” I accepted the present and thought how much this stranger was provident.
Then, I saw him in my mother’s arms. A tiny living being with a crumpled face and close-eyed who never stopped to sleep. I felt disappointed that he wasn’t interested in us. What did he wait for? We were gathered around my mother’s bed hopping he made something. Despite the fact that he just came into the world, he seemed lifeless. As soon as he yawned or moved his hand everyone admired him. I could do as much as him (je pouvais en faire autant que lui) but no one paid attention to me.
When I took my brother out of my arms all my resentment had disappeared. How could I resist to this embodied innocence? He was so frail. I didn’t know yet what character he will (would?) have or if he will (would) be likely to love me but I foresaw some projects. I imagined our lives five years later and I wondered what kind of relationship I will have with him. I hopped he had been gentle and he had let me watching my favourite cartoons. (j’espérais qu’il soit gentil et qu’il me laisse regarder mes dessins animés preferes)
I bore him a grudge a bit (je lui en voulais un petit peu). Mummy was pale-faced. He had exhausted her. In any case I wasn’t lonely anymore.
Today I don't see a day more important than this one (aujourd'hui je ne vois pas de jour plus important que celui ci). He is at the level of my expectations. I think that the brotherly love is one of the deepest love which can exist.
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Modifié par bridg le 27-01-2007 20:18
titre
INDISPENSABLES : 