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correction de fautes d'un essai
Message de prunette posté le 21-09-2005 à 19:18:23 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour à vous tous; je vous remercie beaucoup pour l'aide que vous aidez et fournissez et que vous consacrez du temps à bien faire marcher ce forum.
J'ai un essai que j'ai rédigé et si vous pouviez me consacrer un peu de votre temps afin de me corriger mes fautes et de me les expliquer :s
Mon niveau d'anglais l'an dernier tournait autour de 7.. : là je me suis aidée de mon dictionnaire et ma grammaire mais... ce n'est pas du tout évident. Enfin je perds pas courage. c'est un essay
Merci d'avance de bien vouloir m'aider
"Can money always buy everything you want?"
indroduction :
Money allow somebody to buy for example nice things as jewels. However money can't buy anything because, it can't buy love, happiness.
A lot of things with money on the street, things which cost a fortune : jewels
Some can buy a country, some can buy a town.
For example, the wealthy voyage across the ocean as the desert if they have got a real craving whereas poor must deny oneself in order to pay attention to arrive in the end of month.
To my mind, money isn't egalitarian between different class in social hierarchy. I can't help thinking that it is unfair. Although we can see class dictinctions about money, these class are egalitarian on some point. For instance one of the richest in the world can't buy love, health; delight or peace. In my opinion; money isn't everything. From that moment on we are confronted with a problem, we have often trend to believe that without money, we can't do nothing at all and the life not worth the trouble to be lived whereas it is false. We have to be honest, lucid to recognize money can't buy anything. Without money, we can very well to take advantage of pleasures of the life : a magnificent sunset.
It is no exaggeration to say that the song of the birds, news of the beloved, the smile of a child can't buy. Similarly if I am ill, it isn't with money that I can inevitably to enjoy good health. Besides, I have friendly feelings towards people and I am in love with somebody. I would like to point out that money couldn't buy feelings. We must take into account that in Inde : some live without nothing, but they are cheerful unlike in Europe some are anxious and sad.
To sum up, we can't buy anything with money; as our laughter, forgiveness, peace in the world, love, happiness but we can buy arms, bombs...
We may infer that money can't buy you happiness.
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Edité par bridg le 21-09-2005 19:38
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Edité par prunette le 21-09-2005 19:46
de m'aider
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Edité par prunette le 21-09-2005 19:47
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Edité par prunette le 21-09-2005 19:48
Message de prunette posté le 21-09-2005 à 19:18:23 (S | E | F | I)
Bonjour à vous tous; je vous remercie beaucoup pour l'aide que vous aidez et fournissez et que vous consacrez du temps à bien faire marcher ce forum.
J'ai un essai que j'ai rédigé et si vous pouviez me consacrer un peu de votre temps afin de me corriger mes fautes et de me les expliquer :s
Mon niveau d'anglais l'an dernier tournait autour de 7.. : là je me suis aidée de mon dictionnaire et ma grammaire mais... ce n'est pas du tout évident. Enfin je perds pas courage. c'est un essay
Merci d'avance de bien vouloir m'aider
"Can money always buy everything you want?"
indroduction :
Money allow somebody to buy for example nice things as jewels. However money can't buy anything because, it can't buy love, happiness.
A lot of things with money on the street, things which cost a fortune : jewels
Some can buy a country, some can buy a town.
For example, the wealthy voyage across the ocean as the desert if they have got a real craving whereas poor must deny oneself in order to pay attention to arrive in the end of month.
To my mind, money isn't egalitarian between different class in social hierarchy. I can't help thinking that it is unfair. Although we can see class dictinctions about money, these class are egalitarian on some point. For instance one of the richest in the world can't buy love, health; delight or peace. In my opinion; money isn't everything. From that moment on we are confronted with a problem, we have often trend to believe that without money, we can't do nothing at all and the life not worth the trouble to be lived whereas it is false. We have to be honest, lucid to recognize money can't buy anything. Without money, we can very well to take advantage of pleasures of the life : a magnificent sunset.
It is no exaggeration to say that the song of the birds, news of the beloved, the smile of a child can't buy. Similarly if I am ill, it isn't with money that I can inevitably to enjoy good health. Besides, I have friendly feelings towards people and I am in love with somebody. I would like to point out that money couldn't buy feelings. We must take into account that in Inde : some live without nothing, but they are cheerful unlike in Europe some are anxious and sad.
To sum up, we can't buy anything with money; as our laughter, forgiveness, peace in the world, love, happiness but we can buy arms, bombs...
We may infer that money can't buy you happiness.
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Edité par bridg le 21-09-2005 19:38
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Edité par prunette le 21-09-2005 19:46
de m'aider -------------------
Edité par prunette le 21-09-2005 19:47
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Edité par prunette le 21-09-2005 19:48
Réponse: correction de fautes d'un essai de ourimba, postée le 21-09-2005 à 19:50:50 (S | E)
"Can money always buy everything you want?"
Money does allow someone to buy nice things, jewels for example. However, money can’t buy everything, because it can’t buy love or happiness.
When you walk down the street you see a lot of things which cost a fortune. Some people have enough wealth to buy a country, some can buy a town. For example, the wealthy can travel across the ocean or the desert if they so desire, whereas the poor must deny themselves such pleasures and focus on simply having enough money to make it to the end of the month.
To my mind, money is not equal across different classes in a social hierarchy. I can’t help thinking it is unfair. Although we can see class distinctions with respect to money, these classes are equal on some level. For instance one of the richest people in the world can’t buy love, health, delight or peace.
In my opinion, money isn’t everything. From the moment we are confronted with a problem we tend to believe that without money we can’t do anything at all, and that life is not worth living, but this is false. We have to be honest and recognize that money can’t buy everything. Without money we can certainly take advantage of the pleasures of life, like a magnificent sunset.
It’s no exaggeration to say that the song of birds, news of our beloved, the smile of a child, cannot be bought. Similarly, if I am ill, it isn’t with money that I can inevitably enjoy good health. Moreover, I have kind feelings towards people and I am in love with somebody.
I would also like to point out that money can’t buy feelings. We must take into account that in India there are those that live with nothing, yet they are cheerful, unlike in Europe where some are anxious and sad.
To sum up, we can’t buy everything with money: such as our laughter, forgiveness, peace in the world, love and happiness. Although we can buy weapons! For these reasons we may infer that money can’t buy you happiness.
INDISPENSABLES : 