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correction lettre
Message de iledespins posté le 19-04-2008 à 11:04:03 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Ma nièce souhaite envoyer une lettre pour un job de jeune fille au pair cette été en angleterre. Elle m'a demandé de l'aider à rédiger la lettre et voici ce qu'elle a écrit.
Pouvez vous m'aider à la corriger s'il vous plaît?
Dear Sir or Madam,
Following my conversation with your friend, Anne, who has told me you’re looking for a young girl au pair in july, I’m writing to inform you that I’m really interested.
I’m twenty years old and I’m studying english (first year) at university. I’m used to look after child. My mother being a registered childminder since 15 years, I often help her. Personally, I look after a ten years old children twice a week and often do baby sitting.
Anne has told me you’ve got two child but hasn’t mentionned their ages. How old are they? She has also said you want someone who can do some housework. Can you tell me more about that point?
I love child company and I need to improve my english, so I really hope you will agree my request.
I must tell you I’am a smoker, but I always smoke outside and never in the presence of child.
You can contact me by e-mail or by phone.
Looking forward to hearing from you soon
Yours sincerely
MERCI
Message de iledespins posté le 19-04-2008 à 11:04:03 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
Ma nièce souhaite envoyer une lettre pour un job de jeune fille au pair cette été en angleterre. Elle m'a demandé de l'aider à rédiger la lettre et voici ce qu'elle a écrit.
Pouvez vous m'aider à la corriger s'il vous plaît?
Dear Sir or Madam,
Following my conversation with your friend, Anne, who has told me you’re looking for a young girl au pair in july, I’m writing to inform you that I’m really interested.
I’m twenty years old and I’m studying english (first year) at university. I’m used to look after child. My mother being a registered childminder since 15 years, I often help her. Personally, I look after a ten years old children twice a week and often do baby sitting.
Anne has told me you’ve got two child but hasn’t mentionned their ages. How old are they? She has also said you want someone who can do some housework. Can you tell me more about that point?
I love child company and I need to improve my english, so I really hope you will agree my request.
I must tell you I’am a smoker, but I always smoke outside and never in the presence of child.
You can contact me by e-mail or by phone.
Looking forward to hearing from you soon
Yours sincerely
MERCI
Réponse: correction lettre de gee, postée le 19-04-2008 à 11:31:32 (S | E)
Quelques modifications "à ma mode"
... in July, ...
... I’m studying English (first year) at university. I’m used to looking after a child/after children.
My mother having been a registered childminder for 15 years, I am used to giving her a hand. Personally, I look after a ten-year child twice a week and often do baby sitting.
Anne told me you’ve got two children but didn’t mention their ages. How old are they? She
I love children company and I need to improve my English, so I really hope you will agree my request.
I must tell you I’am a smoker, but I always smoke outside and never in the presence of children.
You can contact me by e-mail or by phone.
Looking forward to hearing from you soon,
Yours sincerely
Answer to be expected: I'm sorry but I would never hire a smoker.
-------------------
Modifié par gee le 19-04-2008 11:34
Réponse: correction lettre de iledespins, postée le 19-04-2008 à 11:44:07 (S | E)
Merci gee,
cependant, la mère de ma nièce est encore assistante maternelle, donc faut-il mettre having been ..... for?
Et je ne suis pas certaine : après "used to", il faut mettre un gérondif ?
J'avoue que j'hésite ; en tout cas, merci beaucoup!
Réponse: correction lettre de iledespins, postée le 19-04-2008 à 11:53:47 (S | E)
j'ai trouvé pour used to... Ce site est vraiment super.
Réponse: correction lettre de jellybean, postée le 19-04-2008 à 14:11:17 (S | E)
... my mother has been a child minder for ...
... I love the company of children (or I love children's company)
... I am a smoker...
... Yours faithfully,
(Dear Mrs.Brown - Yours sincerely / Dear Sir or Madam - Yours faithfully)
