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Alusine (correction)
Message de ptitesarah posté le 28-05-2008 à 15:38:28 (S | E | F)
Bonjour jai eu un texte en anglais a faire je voulais savoir si quelqun de trés fort en anglais pourrait me corriger les fautes (c'est urgent). Merci d'avance
Alusine bah a young black boy of 13, who leave in Sierra Leone is an exemple of children were forced to army because he avanged his family.
Indeed his parents were die because rebels soldiers were destroyed his village and killed peoples. When he joined the army he xas ill-treated, he was obliged to carrying rifles,fighting,killing and as well as seeing peoples dying. But he had never think he was contrained to make dangerous orders. It's for this reason, that the United Nations hope for getting better the situation of 200 000 children under the age of 18. During a campaign graca machel siad to adults the be able to protectec their children.
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Modifié par bridg le 28-05-2008 15:43
Message de ptitesarah posté le 28-05-2008 à 15:38:28 (S | E | F)
Bonjour jai eu un texte en anglais a faire je voulais savoir si quelqun de trés fort en anglais pourrait me corriger les fautes (c'est urgent). Merci d'avance
Alusine bah a young black boy of 13, who leave in Sierra Leone is an exemple of children were forced to army because he avanged his family.
Indeed his parents were die because rebels soldiers were destroyed his village and killed peoples. When he joined the army he xas ill-treated, he was obliged to carrying rifles,fighting,killing and as well as seeing peoples dying. But he had never think he was contrained to make dangerous orders. It's for this reason, that the United Nations hope for getting better the situation of 200 000 children under the age of 18. During a campaign graca machel siad to adults the be able to protectec their children.
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Modifié par bridg le 28-05-2008 15:43
Réponse: Alusine (correction) de denia57, postée le 28-05-2008 à 16:34:22 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Alusine bah (si c'est le nom de famille, il faut une majuscule)a young black boy of 13, who leave (3ème personne du singulier, il faut un "s") in Sierra Leone, is an exemple of children X (manque un pronom relatif) were forced to X (manque le verbe "aller") army because he (tu peux remplacer par "pour" qui est moins lourd) avanged (orthographe) his family.
Indeed his parents were die (soit tu mets le verbe "to die" au preterit, soit tu utilises le verbe "be" + Ajectif dead) because rebels soldiers
When he joined the army he xas ill-treated, he was obliged ("forced") to carry
But he had never think (il faut le participe passé) he was (concordance des temps, il faudrait simplement ajouter "going to") contrained (orthographe)to make (changer verbe, ici ça signifie que c'est lui qui donne des ordres) dangerous orders.
It's for this reason (= calque, "that's the reason why")
During a campaign graca machel siad to adults to be able to protect their children.
Propose-moi ton corrigé...
Réponse: Alusine (correction) de non-maiis-toii, postée le 28-05-2008 à 16:50:35 (S | E)
Hello!
I apelle natacha me and I look for a correspondent englais for me to ameliorer because I have of big to dificulter englais and I to aimerer well ameliorer my resultat because control I always have below the average what is that to aurer possibiliter him(it) to it to help me?
pouvait vous me coriger svp mercii
