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Oral (correction)
Message de lylyne13 posté le 11-10-2008 à 17:54:36 (S | E | F)
bonjour à tous!
J'ai préparé mon oral j'aimerais savoir si quelqu'un pouvait regarder ce que j'ai fait et me donner son avis et si possible corrigr les grosse fautes!
The virtues of the chocolate !
Black, in the milk, white, with hazelnuts or almand… nobody can’t resist to one square of chocolate. He melts slowly on our tongue, excites our gustatory papillae and caresses our palate!
Three varieties of chocolates exist:
- Black chocolate is manufactures with cocoa and sugar
- Milk chocolate is manufactured with cocoa butter, sugar and milk.
We find chocolate in various forms: bar of chocolate, powder, pastes to be pasted
The black chocolate is the best because he is rich in cocoa and it is better for a nutritional point of view. White and milk chocolates contain lot of milk and sugar, and a little of cocoa.
Often, we think that: The chocolate is a delicacy, but in reality it is a beneficial food. The chocolate is enriching and nourishing, he have a lot of virtues.
We speak of chocolate therapy! He is good for moral.
He contains proteins, lipids, glucids, fibres, potassium, magnesium, calcium, phosphorus and sodium.
-The chocolate have euphoriant action and against depressor. He gives the pleasure sensation.
-The chocolate is a stimulant of the brain! It is a very nourishing food then he improves our physical and intellectual endurance and allows fighting against tiredness.
-The chocolate is an antioxidant thus the cardiovascular risks are diminus
The chocolate is too a sensual delight, dream, softness and pleasure symbol.
For a child it is like a reward.
We can’t makes feel guilty when we eat chocolate. He is good for our body but must being reasonable!!!
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Modifié par bridg le 11-10-2008 18:10
Message de lylyne13 posté le 11-10-2008 à 17:54:36 (S | E | F)
bonjour à tous!
J'ai préparé mon oral j'aimerais savoir si quelqu'un pouvait regarder ce que j'ai fait et me donner son avis et si possible corrigr les grosse fautes!
The virtues of the chocolate !
Black, in the milk, white, with hazelnuts or almand… nobody can’t resist to one square of chocolate. He melts slowly on our tongue, excites our gustatory papillae and caresses our palate!
Three varieties of chocolates exist:
- Black chocolate is manufactures with cocoa and sugar
- Milk chocolate is manufactured with cocoa butter, sugar and milk.
We find chocolate in various forms: bar of chocolate, powder, pastes to be pasted
The black chocolate is the best because he is rich in cocoa and it is better for a nutritional point of view. White and milk chocolates contain lot of milk and sugar, and a little of cocoa.
Often, we think that: The chocolate is a delicacy, but in reality it is a beneficial food. The chocolate is enriching and nourishing, he have a lot of virtues.
We speak of chocolate therapy! He is good for moral.
He contains proteins, lipids, glucids, fibres, potassium, magnesium, calcium, phosphorus and sodium.
-The chocolate have euphoriant action and against depressor. He gives the pleasure sensation.
-The chocolate is a stimulant of the brain! It is a very nourishing food then he improves our physical and intellectual endurance and allows fighting against tiredness.
-The chocolate is an antioxidant thus the cardiovascular risks are diminus
The chocolate is too a sensual delight, dream, softness and pleasure symbol.
For a child it is like a reward.
We can’t makes feel guilty when we eat chocolate. He is good for our body but must being reasonable!!!
-------------------
Modifié par bridg le 11-10-2008 18:10
Réponse: Oral (correction) de flavie31, postée le 11-10-2008 à 18:01:44 (S | E)
pas trop forte en anglais mais bon il me semble que ces deux phrases sont incorrectes :
- Black chocolate is manufactures with cocoa and sugar
- Milk chocolate is manufactured with cocoa butter, sugar and milk.
tu n'as pas conjugué de la même façon
tu ne peux pas mettre be+participe passé dans cette phrase car ce n'est pas un passif. donc je ne sais pas la réponse !! ^^
Bon courage !! Flavie
Réponse: Oral (correction) de robertbrou, postée le 14-10-2008 à 16:51:23 (S | E)
Bonjour lylyne13,
Cela me rend faim!
Voici mes conseils pour votre projet. En gros, c'est un très bon départ!
En général pensez aux sujets suivants:
a. Attention à l'accord suj/vb
b. Attention à l'orthographe. Faire faire le correcteur d'orthographe.
c. "Three varieties of chocolate exist..." mais il n'y a que 2 sur la liste
Voici certaines corrections spécifiques:
1. Changer tout occurrence de "He" pour "It".
2. chocolat noir = dark chocolate
3. chocolat au lait = milk chocolate
4. gustatory papillae = taste buds
5. pastes? - en GB paste = colle. Voulez-vous dire "pastry" (patisserie)?
6. euphoriant -> euphoric
7. against depressor -> anti-depressant
8. allows fighting against tiredness -> is an energy booster (cela empêche la fatigue)
9. diminus -> diminished
J'espère que cela vous aide,
Rob
