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Correction/Online shopping (1)

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Correction/Online shopping
Message de chacha7611 posté le 08-02-2009 à 11:38:12 (S | E | F)

Bonjour, pourriez-vous me corriger les petites que j'ai pu commettre dans cet essai ? Merci d'avance, have a good day !!

Online shopping is the process consumers go through to purchase products or services over Internet. Since its beginning during the 90’s, this way of buying goods have increased exponentially. But it is not the major market for companies. However, I think online shopping is going to be the most important market for both companies and consumers in the future.

In the first place, online shopping is the most convenient means for doing business. Thus, online stores are usually available 24 hours a day and many consumers have Internet access both at work and at home. If people want to go to a bricks and mortar shop, they have to drive their car, find a place to park it, and go through the crowd, and sometimes wait a lot of time at the checkouts. So, it is not very easy for a busiest person, and using Internet is more convenient. It is the same for companies, they can buy or sell what they need directly online, and thereby there is a less of time and a less waste of money. Moreover, with Internet people can do C2C (consumer to consumer) business more easily than in “the real life” with websites like Ebay.

In the second place, a big advantage for consumers who buy online is the price and the selection of products. Indeed, when a company sells its products online, prices are cheaper than in a conventional retail shop. It is normal because for the company costs are less high: for example, the company need fewer employees, and fewer retail shops. Furthermore, products are available quickly, so company have not to pay a lot for stock them. To highlights this fact, we can talk about Dell a company which sells only online computers. But consumers can make their own computer: there is a list of computer items and a customer can choose what he wants in his computer.

Lastly, I think the security of doing business on Internet is the same than in retail shops. Many consumers wish to avoid spam after doing business with a virtual company, thus theses companies promise not using personal information. But in retail shops, consumers give also personal information like in certain cases the phone number, the postal code and even the address. So people just have to take care of the website: ensuring that the retailer has an acceptable privacy policy posted, ensuring that the vendor address is protected with SSL when entering credit card information…

Online shopping is a new way of doing business, it is going to be the most important market in the future due to an easy and fast system, a market in expansion and a security more and more strong. If you try it, you adopt it. So, let’s go !
------------------
Modifié par bridg le 08-02-2009 11:59
titre distinctif


Réponse: Correction/Online shopping de linsey34, postée le 08-02-2009 à 14:51:21 (S | E)
Dear chacha,

en rouge les erreurs à corriger:
en bleu les corrections:

Online shopping is the process consumers go through to purchase products or services over the Internet. Since its beginning during the 90s, this way of buying goods have increased exponentially. But it is not the major market for companies. However, I think online shopping is going to be the most important market for both companies and consumers in the future.

In the first place, online shopping is the most convenient means for doing business. Thus, online stores are usually available 24 hours a day and many consumers have an Internet access both at work and at home. If people want to go to a bricks and mortar shop, they have to drive their car, find a place to park it, and go through the crowd, and sometimes wait a lot of time at the checkouts. So, it is not very easy for a busiest person, and using the Internet is more convenient. It is the same for companies, they can buy or sell what they need directly online, and thereby there is a less waste of time and a less waste of money. Moreover, with the Internet people can do C2C (consumer to consumer) business more easily than in “the real life” with websites like Ebay.

In the second place, a big advantage for consumers who buy online is the price and the selection of products. Indeed, when a company sells its products online, prices are cheaper than in a conventional retail shop. It is normal because for the company costs are less high: for example, the company needs fewer employees, and fewer retail shops. Furthermore, products are available quickly, so company have not to pay a lot for stock them. To highlights this fact, we can talk about Dell, a company which sells only online computers. But consumers can make their own computer: there is a list of computer items and a customer can choose what he wants in his computer.

Lastly, I think the security of doing business on the Internet is the same than in retail shops. Many consumers wish to avoid spam after doing business with a virtual company, thus theses companies promise not using personal information. But in retail shops, consumers give also personal information like in certain cases the phone number, the postal code and even the address. So people just have to take care of the website: ensuring that the retailer has an acceptable privacy policy posted, ensuring that the vendor address is protected with SSL when entering credit card information…

Online shopping is a new way of doing business, it is going to be the most important market in the future due to an easy and fast system, a market in expansion and a security more and more strong adjectif court. If you try it, you adopt it. So, let’s go !


Réponse: Correction/Online shopping de chacha7611, postée le 08-02-2009 à 16:18:48 (S | E)
Thanks for u're help ;) ;)


Réponse: Correction/Online shopping de azer3, postée le 08-02-2009 à 16:39:25 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Online shopping is the process consumers go through to purchase products or services over Internet. Since its beginning during the 90’s, this way of buying goods have increased exponentially. But it is not the major market for companies. However, I think online shopping is going to be the most important market for both companies and consumers in the future.

In the first place, online shopping is the most convenient means for doing business. Thus, online stores are usually available 24 hours a day and many consumers have Internet access both at work and at home. If people want to go to a bricks and mortar shop, they have to drive their car, find a place to park it, and go through the crowd, and sometimes wait a lot of time at the checkouts. So, it is not very easy for a busiest person, and using Internet is more convenient. It is the same for companies, they can buy or sell what they need directly online, and thereby there is a less of time and a less waste of money. Moreover, with Internet people can do C2C (consumer to consumer) business more easily than in “the real life” with websites like Ebay.

In the second place, a big advantage for consumers who buy online is the price and the selection of products. Indeed, when a company sells its products online, prices are cheaper than in a conventional retail shop. It is normal because for the company costs are less high: for example, the company need fewer employees, and fewer retail shops. Furthermore, products are available quickly, so company have not to pay a lot forstock them. To highlights this fact, we can talk about Dell a company which sells only online computers. But consumers can make their own computer: there is a list of computer items and a customer can choose what he wants in his computer.

Lastly, I think the security of doing business on Internet is the same than in retail shops. Many consumers wish to avoid spam after doing business with a virtual company, thus theses companies promise not using personal information. But in retail shops, consumers give also personal information like in certain cases the phone number, the postal code and even the address. So people just have to take care of the website: ensuring that the retailer has an acceptable privacy policy posted, ensuring that the vendor address is protected with SSL when entering credit card information…

Online shopping is a new way of doing business, it is going to be the most important market in the future due to an easy and fast system, a market in expansion and a security more and more strong. If you try it, you adopt it. So, let’s go !
ça manque un outil d'explication
le sujet est au féminin
tu as déjà exprimé le future par going to
and...mortar shop ça manque quelque chose.
c'est mieux de dire pratique plutôt que facile.
la conjonction doit exprimer la conséquence est pas la coordination.
le sujet est company est pas companies.
on dit pas for.
l'article indéfini est mal placé.
on dit pas in mais to.
on dit pas the same than mais the same...
ca manque un virgule.
don't use.
ça manque un article indéfini.

Voilà, a la lumière de cette correction essayer de se corriger et je suis là.
Je tiens a tu dire bravo pour la conclusion car tu as bien fermé ton sujet.




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