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Correction /economic cycle (1)

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Correction /economic cycle
Message de lycia13 posté le 26-02-2009 à 08:13:37 (S | E | F)

Hello,

Si vous aviez un peu de temps pour me corriger ce court essai, ce serait sympa (j'ai notamment des difficultés sur l'emploi du "the" ou sur certaines tournures de phrase).

Merci d'avance.

Julie

Thrift is one of big processes of the economic cycle that we often see coming back when the GDP decreases, during recession or during national crises as the WWII. Actually, savings, have some virtues and qualities: anticipate, squirrel away for our future and this of our relatives, take part in the nation effort. Many tools of savings were created depending on times : passbooks, war bonds, for example.
To save, whatever the time, is difficult for several reasons. On one hand, because of many solicitations which surround us: casinos, credit-cards, lotteries, and on the other hand its related to our cultural inheritance (in literature, for instance, with “The Great Gasby”). Furthermore, sometimes, neither banks, nor the state encourages to save. In addition, some banks do not propose passbooks for children, while they dole out loans easily
In the same way, during the last recession, President Bush did not urge to savings, but futilities as to travel or topatronize restaurants damaged by the crisis (and the 9/11 event, so,some even considered it as a civic duty). The society, the government, encourages to the consumer spendingand shows the savings as counterproductive. Nevertheless, it is true that consumer activity has positive points, whether locally or on the international stage with the import and the markets opening: besides, consumers activity accounts for about 70 % of economic activity, the heedlessly spending enables a lot of sectors to live (and even farmers in the other side of the world).
It is necessary to consider the cost of opportunity which represent the savings in front of the immediate spending some time for the pleasure, often by necessity, because in front of cost of living some households cannot save (in fact, part of incomes reserved for the basics (like health) increases more quickly than incomes). However, “those who live by paper gains, also die by them”, as shows the crisis of subprimes, spending heedlessly is dangerous.
Millions of American households have been damaged by credits (à taux variable ? variable rates?), those who had based their retirement on the real-estate have to review everything. Above all, this crisis casts doubt on the principle of capitalism. Moreover, if the rate of savings soars in the USA today, it is because of a renewal of frugality, and not of a renewal of wisdom.
Because of a catastrophic deficit of savings over the last ten years, we underwent crisis and this new recession will be even more difficult to overcome. Some people, as Warren Buffet, had underlined the necessity to save more, well before the crisis. In consequences, the state has to encourage the savings (lottery), even to force it (held on salary). She has to become a new fashion to limit each Donald Trump hidding in us.


-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 26-02-2009 08:30


Réponse: Correction /economic cycle de linsey34, postée le 27-02-2009 à 14:08:53 (S | E)
Dear Lycia/Julie,

en bleu ce que j'ai corrigé,
en rouge ce qu'il te faut corriger.

Thrift is one of the biggest processes of the economic cycle that we often see coming back when the GDP decreases, during recession or during national crises as the WWII.
Actually, savings, have some virtues and qualities: anticipate, squirrel away for our future and this of our relatives, take part in the nation effort.
Reformule cette phrase car elle est incompréhensible.
Many tools of savings were created depending on times : passbooks, war bonds, for example.
To save, whatever the time, is difficult for several reasons.
Phrase à reformuler.
On the one hand, because of many solicitations which surround us: casinos, credit-cards, lotteries, and on the other hand its related to our cultural inheritance (in literature, for instance, with The Great Gasby).
Il manque un verbe dans ta phrase: à reformuler.

Furthermore, sometimes, neither banks, nor the state encourages to save. In addition, some banks do not propose passbooks for children, while they dole out loans easily

In the same way, during the last recession, President Bush did not urge to savings, but futilities as to travel or topatronize restaurants damaged by the crisis (and the 9/11 event, so,some even considered it as a civic duty).
The society, the government, encourages to the consumer spending and shows the savings as counterproductive. Nevertheless, it is true that consumer activity has positive points, whether locally or on the international stage with the import and the markets opening: besides, consumers activity accounts for about 70 % of economic activity, the heedlessly spending enables a lot of sectors to live (and even farmers in the other side of the world).
It is necessary to consider the cost of opportunity which represent the savings in front of the immediate spending some time for the pleasure, often by necessity, because in front of the cost of living some households cannot save (in fact, part of incomes reserved for the basics (like health) increases more quickly than incomes). However, “those who live by paper gains, also die by them”, as shows the crisis of subprimes, spending heedlessly is dangerous.
Millions of American households have been damaged by credits (à taux variable ? variable rates?)floating rate interests, those who had based their retirement on the real-estate have to review everything. Above all, this crisis casts doubt on the principle of capitalism. Moreover, if the rate of savings soars in the USA today, it is because of a renewal of frugality, and not because of a renewal of wisdom.
Because of a catastrophic deficit of savings over the last ten years, we underwent crisis and this new recession will be even more difficult to overcome. Some people, as Warren Buffet, had underlined the necessity to save more, well before the crisis. In consequences, the state has to encourage the savings (lottery), even to force it (held on salary). She has to become a new fashion to limit each Donald Trump hidding in us.



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