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Correction /Jungle Book (1)

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Correction /Jungle Book
Message de zawa posté le 02-04-2009 à 19:12:25 (S | E | F)

Bonjour,
Est ce que quelqu'un pourrait m'indiquer ou j'ai fais des fautes dans ce texte ?
Merci d'avance . =)

The film I have chosen to work on is entitled The Jungle Book. it is the 19th animated feature in the Disney animated features canon . The Jungle book was created in 1967, but the date of release in France was on December 4 , 1968, and in the United States on October 18, 1967. It was Directed by Wolfgang Reitherman it was the last to be produced by Walt Disney. The stories was inspired about a book of Rudyard Kipling. This movie of animation was cost 20 millions of dollars. It lasts 78 minutes.

The panther Bagheera find in a jungle of india a baby. She give him to a large wolf familie. During ten year, the small man, whose name is Mowgli, grown into the wolf. But suddenly, the jungle is scared in front of the return of Shere Khan, the tiger man-eater. To save Mowgli, The council of wolves asks Bagheera to accompany him in a village and to return him to the men. Begin then for our two friends the travel of return. The child is ignoramus of the danger which watches for him. He will make very lot of meetings, Kaa, the snake hypnotist, the company of elephants, Baloo, bear Epicurean who sings his happiness...
Will Mowgli escape the sharp claws of Shere Khan ?
You must show the film for know that !


-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 14-04-2009 21:28
3 topics fusionnés ! il serait temps de lire les corrections données non?


Réponse: Correction /Jungle Book de laure95, postée le 03-04-2009 à 14:11:00 (S | E)
Bonjur, voici ce que tu dois corriger:
The film I have chosen to work on is entitled The Jungle Book. it is the 19th animated feature in the Disney animated features canon . The Jungle book was created in 1967, but the date of release in France was on December 4 , 1968, and in the United States on October 18, 1967. It was Directed by Wolfgang Reitherman it was the last to be produced by Walt Disney. The stories was inspired about a book of Rudyard Kipling. This movie of animation was cost 20 millions of dollars. It lasts 78 minutes.

temps du récit: prétérit simple!
The panther Bagheera find in a jungle of india a baby. She give him to a large wolf familie (orthographe). During ten year, the small man, whose name is Mowgli, grown into the wolf. But suddenly, the jungle is scared in front of the return of Shere Khan, the tiger man-eater. To save Mowgli, The council of wolves asks Bagheera to accompany him in a village and to return him to the men. Begin then for our two friends the travel of return. The child is ignoramus of the danger which watches for him. He will make very lots of meetings, Kaa, the snake hypnotist, the company of elephants, Baloo, bear Epicurean who sings his happiness...
Will Mowgli escape the sharp claws of Shere Khan ?
You must show the film for (to) know that !



Réponse: Correction /Jungle Book de zawa, postée le 03-04-2009 à 17:52:26 (S | E)
Est ce que ma correction avec la correction =) est bonne ?

The film I have chosen to work on is entitled The Jungle Book. it is the 19th animated feature in the Disney animated features canon . The Jungle book was created in 1967, but the date of release in France was on December 4 , 1968, and in the United States on October 18, 1967. It was Directed by Wolfgang Reitherman it was the last to be produced by Walt Disney. The storie was inspired of Rudyard Kipling’s book. This movie of animation cost 20 millions of dollars. It lasts 78 minutes.


The panther Bagheera found in a india’s jungle a baby. She given him to a large wolf family. During ten year, the small man, whose name is Mowgli, grown with wolves. But suddenly, the jungle is scared, about the return of Shere Khan, the tiger man-eater. To save Mowgli, The council of wolves asked Bagheera to accompany him to a village and to returned him to human. Begun then for our two friends the travel of return. The child is ignoramus of the danger which watches for him. He will makes lots of meetings, Kaa, the snake hypnotist, the company of elephants, Baloo, bear Epicurean who sings his happiness...
Will Mowgli escape the sharp claws of Shere Khan ?
You must show the film to know that !


-------------------
Modifié par zawa le 03-04-2009 17:53


Réponse: Correction /Jungle Book de laure95, postée le 05-04-2009 à 15:43:39 (S | E)
The film I have chosen to work on is entitled The Jungle Book. it is the 19th animated feature in the Disney animated features canon . The Jungle book was created in 1967, but the date of release in France was on December 4 , 1968, and in the United States on October 18, 1967. It was Directed by Wolfgang Reitherman it was the last to be produced by Walt Disney. The storie (pas la bonne orthographe) was inspired of (pas la bonne préposition)Rudyard Kipling’s book. This movie of animation cost 20 millions of dollars. It lasts 78 minutes.


The panther Bagheera found in a (a devant 1 nom commençant par 1 consonne, an devant 1 mot commençant par 1 voyelle) india (Indian)<s>’s jungle a baby (pas à la bonne place). She given (mettre le verbe ua prétérit pas au participe passé) him to a large wolf family. During ten year (pluriel), the small man, whose name is Mowgli, grown (prétérit!) with wolves. But suddenly, the jungle is (temps) scared, about the return of Shere Khan, the tiger man-eater. To save Mowgli, The council of wolves asked Bagheera to accompany him to a village and to returned him to human. Begun then for our two friends the travel of return. The child is ignoramus of the danger which watches for him. He will makes (conditionnel) lots of meetings, Kaa, the snake hypnotist, the company of elephants, Baloo, bear Epicurean who sings his happiness...
Will Mowgli escape the sharp claws of Shere Khan ?
You must show the film to know that !




Réponse: Correction /Jungle Book de zawa, postée le 10-04-2009 à 19:15:48 (S | E)
Quelqu'un pourrait m'aider ?
SVP


Réponse: Correction /Jungle Book de kolimang, postée le 10-04-2009 à 20:15:48 (S | E)
Bonjour, voici un premier jet.

J'ai attiré ton attention en mettant en rouge plusieurs erreurs.

A toi de proposer une correction.

Cordialement,

Kolimang

- - -

I have chosen to worked on “The Jungle Book”. It's the 19th animated feature by Disney canon (es-tu sûr(e) de cette tournure "by Disney canon" ? Que veux-tu dire?). The Jungle book was inspired of Rudyard Kipling’s book, created in 1967. The date of release in the United States was on October, 1967 and one year later in France. The movie was directed by Wolfgang Reitherman. This movie of animation cost 20 millions of dollars. It lasts 78 minutes.
Principals’ characters are Mowgli a man, Bagheera a panther, Baloo a bear and Shere Khan a tiger.

I chose it because I like Disney movie (accord). I think that drawings are beautiful, and it’s a happy end, with lot of enjoyment and love.

The panther Bagheera found in a india’s jungle a baby (déplacer "a baby"). He given him to a wolf family. The small man was called Mowgli, he grown with wolves during 10 years. But suddenly, the jungle is scared, about the return of Shere Khan, the tiger man-eater. Bagheera must to accompany Mowgli to a village to returned him to human (accord). The child is ignoramus of the danger which watches for him. He will makes lots of meetings, Kaa, the snake hypnotist, the company of elephants, Baloo, bear Epicurean who sings his happiness...
Will Mowgli escape the sharp claws of Shere Khan ?
You must show the film to know that !

The sentence which I chose to represent the film is: “The bare necessities of life will come to you”, of the song of Baloo.

Keywords can be Jungle, Friendship, animals who speak, and happy end.



Réponse: Correction /Jungle Book de zawa, postée le 14-04-2009 à 20:44:44 (S | E)
Quelqu'un pourrait-il me corriger me corriger ce texte sur le livre de la jungle ?
Merci d'avance
Sarah

“The Jungle Book” is a animation by Disney. It was inspired of Rudyard Kipling’s book, created in 1967.
The date of release in the United States was on October, 1967.
It was directed by Wolfgang Reitherman.
This movie cost 20 millions of dollars.


Bagheera found a baby in a india’s jungle. He give him to a wolf family. The small man, Mowgli, grow with wolves during 10 years. But suddenly, the jungle is scared, about the return of Shere Khan, the tiger man-eater. Bagheera must accompany Mowgli to a man’s village. The child is ignoramus of the danger which watches for him. He will make meetings : Kaa, the snake hypnotist, the company of elephants, Baloo, bear Epicurean...
You must show the film for know if Mowgli escape to Shere Khan…



Réponse: Correction /Jungle Book de kolimang, postée le 15-04-2009 à 15:55:35 (S | E)
Bonjour zawa,

Il y a encore plusieurs erreurs, et la majorité de celles-ci ont été signalées plus haut. Relis bien les différents messages ci-dessus et essaye de corriger ces fautes par toi-même.

Bon travail

Kolimang



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