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Halloween/ correction (1)

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Halloween/ correction
Message de choups971 posté le 20-04-2009 à 14:53:34 (S | E | F)

Hello!can you corrige my faults please^^

I thought that I was asleep, but today I am not sure. I was the evening of Halloween, the party was ended, I went in my room to sleep. I was lying on my bed, by reading a book to try to asleep. After forty five minutes, I was sleepy, I witched off the light and began to close my eyes.After ten minutes, I felt an Icy wind, began has to have very cold. I got up to see if my window was open but apparently no...So I put me completely under the braid...But when I closed my eyes, I had feel powerless to act. I couldn't move.There was somebody that tried to choke me! I couldn't inhale! I had try to struggle of all my strengths ! Impossible! I had shout! But any sound went out of my mouth !Then, nothing..I went out very fast of my bed to switch on the light....But nothing! There was that me in my room and nobody else ! perhaps, I had be a allucination...This morning , I have to tell it to my brother, but he laughed at me and aid to me that there was a nightmare and nothing else.My parents laughed also.But I was sure that that night, there wa something who came to choke me.However, I said to nobody, my mother said me to tell it nobody because they could me for a lunatic. I am sure that it wasn't a nightmare , but if it wasn't a dream , what was it?

thank you

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Modifié par bridg le 20-04-2009 15:41
titre

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Modifié par choups971 le 20-04-2009 19:53


Réponse: Halloween/ correction de laure95, postée le 20-04-2009 à 18:38:24 (S | E)
Bonsoir, voici les corrections à effectuer:
I thought that I was asleep, but today I am not sure. I was an (the) evening of Halloween, the party was ended, I went in my room to sleep. I was lying in my bed, by reading a book to try to asleep. After forty five minutes, I was sleepy, I witched off the light and began to close my eyes.At the end of (after) ten minutes, I felt an Icy wind, began to have very cold. I got up to see if my window was open but apparently no...So I put me completely under the braid...But when I closed my eyed, I had feel powerless to act. I couldn't move.There was somebody that tried to choke me! I couldn't inhale! I had try to struggle of all my strengths ! Impossible! I had shout! But any sound went out of my mouth !Then, nothing..I went out very fast of my bed to switch on the light....But nothing! There was that (only) me in my room and nobody else ! perhaps, I had be a (an) allucination...This morning , I have to tell it to my brother, but he laughed at me and aid to me that there (it) was a nightmare and nothing else.My parents laughed also.But I was sure that this (that) night, there wa something who came to choke me.However, I said to nobody, my mother said me to tell it to nobody because they could (verbe?) me for a lunatic. I am sure that it wasn't a nightmare , but if it wasn't a dream , what was it?





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