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Message de helmoute posté le 14-10-2009 à 18:57:27 (S | E | F)
Bonjour, tout le monde, j'ai rédaction à réaliser avec comme sujet How do you explain the success of fast food restaurants all over the world ?
Je l'ai faite mais j'ai beaucoup de mal à me corriger seul et j'aimerais bien qu'on me signale mes fautes que je puisse les corriger et essayer de ne pas les reproduire dans une prochaine rédaction ...
Merci d'avance!
Nowadays, people eat on fast food restaurant very often all over the world but how can we explain the succes of those fastly restaurants ?
First of all, we can say people don't have many time to cook and even to eat so it's very more simply to buy a meal on a fast food. We win time because the service is fast and we can eat anywhere, for instance you can eat in the street while walking or during our work, in fact people back time because of the modern way of life. Moreover you can put meals in the microwave over, it just takes a few minutes to heat it up. It's an advantage of takeaway food, we can eat at home without cooking.Well, that's saved us some time.
Morevover, adverts for those restaurants are very appetizing, for instance, Mcdonald's hamburgers are ver appetizing (on the advert) but they are not really like that. Furthermore fast food restaurants make adverts for toys whose insite the children to come on those restaurant so their parents do use.Finally, we often have news advertising.
We can add, the price is cheap on fast food, cheapest than good restaurant, it's sure!And the openinghours are very (large ??), in fact Mcdonald for example is open until midnight.
Lately, we can say many people go to fast food in order to eat french fries (for example) or to drink coca, it's not really healthy but many people love that, they love sweet food, like ice-cream. On top of that chemical additive that make we want to eat more ever if you are not hungry.
To conclude, i can say i don't like fast food restaurant's food because it's too fattening and unhealthy and that's why many children become obese. What are repercussionsof junk food?
Réponse: Fast food-correction de seb06000, postée le 14-10-2009 à 19:09:50 (S | E)
bonsoir,
je vous laisse les indications de correction: 
'Nowadays, people eat on (erreur de préposition) fast food restaurant (manque la marque du pluriel) very often (position du groupe adverbial ) all over the world but how can we explain the succes (voc ) of those fastly (voc) restaurants ?
First of all, we can say people don't have many (erreur de quantifieur, Many est dénombrable) time to cook and even to eat so it's very more simply (erreur dans la construction du comparatif de superiorité, vous devriez essayer avec ''easy') to buy a meal on(preposition) a fast food. We win (voc) time because the service is fast and we can eat anywhere, for instance you can eat in the street while walking or during our work, in fact people back time (sens?) because of the modern way of life. Moreover you can put meals in the microwave over, it just takes a few minutes to heat it up. It's an advantage of takeaway food, we can eat at home without cooking.Well, that's saved us some time.
Morevover, adverts for those restaurants are very appetizing, for instance, Mcdonald's hamburgers are ver (ortho) appetizing (on the advert) but they are not really like that. Furthermore fast food restaurants make adverts for toys whose (erreur de relatif) insite(voc) the children to come on (preposition) those restaurant (il manque la marque du pluriel) so their parents do use (sens?) .Finally, we often have news (voc) advertising.
We can add, the price is cheap on (preposition) fast food, cheapest than good restaurant (marque pluriel) , it's sure!And the opening hours are very (extended?large ??), in fact Mcdonald for example is open until midnight.
Lately, we can say many people go to fast food (marque du pluriel) in order to eat french fries (for example) or to drink coca, it's not really healthy but many people love that, they love sweet food, like ice-cream (marque du pluriel) . On top of that chemical additive (pluriel) that make we (pronom sujet à revoir, ce n'est pas le pronom sujet qu'il faut) want to eat more ever if you are not hungry.
To conclude, i (Majuscule au pronom sujet I OBLIGATOIRE) can say i (idem) don't like fast food restaurant's food because it's too fattening and unhealthy and that's why many children become obese. What are repercussions of junk food? '
Si vous avez un souci n'hésitez pas!
Amicalement 
sebastien
-------------------
Modifié par seb06000 le 14-10-2009 19:13
mise en couleur, no need for Detention
Réponse: Fast food-correction de helmoute, postée le 17-10-2009 à 14:21:02 (S | E)
Bonjour, alors déjà merci beaucoup seb06000
j'ai tenté de corriger mes erreurs mais je n'y arrive pas pour certaine =S
'Nowadays, people eat very often at fast food restaurants all over the world but how can we explain the success of those fast restaurants ?
First of all, we can say people don't have much time to cook and even to eat so it's very easier to buy a meal at fast food. We save time because the service is fast and we can eat anywhere, for instance you can eat in the street while walking or during our work, in fact people (n'ont plus beaucoup de temps??) because of the modern way of life. Moreover you can put meals in the microwave over, it just takes a few minutes to heat it up. It's an advantage of takeaway food, we can eat at home without cooking.Well, that's saved us some time.
Morevover, adverts for those restaurants are very appetizing, for instance, Mcdonald's hamburgers are very appetizing (on the advert)but they are not really like that. Furthermore fast food restaurants make adverts for toys which encourage children to come at those restaurants (donc leurs parents les y emmènent ) .Finally, we often have (nouvelles : freshes ???) advertising.
We can add, the price is cheap at fast food, cheapest than good restaurants , it's sure!And the opening hours are very exetended, in fact Mcdonald for example is open until midnight.
Lately, we can say many people go to fast foods in order to eat french fries (for example) or to drink coca, it's not really healthy but many people love that, they love sweet food, like ice-creams . On top of that chemical additives that make we (pronom sujet à revoir, ce n'est pas le pronom sujet qu'il faut : je ne vois pas =S) want to eat more ever if you are not hungry.
To conclude, I can say I don't like fast food restaurant's food because it's too fattening and unhealthy and that's why many children become obese. What are repercussions of junk food? '
Réponse: Fast food-correction de sherazade, postée le 17-10-2009 à 14:24:03 (S | E)
Pour le "we" de la fin, en fait je crois que pour dire "on" en anglais, on utilise le pronom personnel "you". Ou sinon, tu peux remplacer par "people".
Voilà !
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