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Correction de présentation anglais

<< Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction de présentation anglais
Message de overshambles posté le 01-11-2009 à 18:34:18 (S | E | F)

à tous, j'ai une présentation à rendre dans deux jours, c'est donc très urgent.
Voilà le travail que j'ai fait. Où sont mes erreurs ? Expressions mal dites, mot mal utilisé dans ce contexte ... J'utilise un dictionnaire Harrap's, je suis en seconde. Si vous avez d'autres idées ?


My name is Clarisse but my friends call me Cla. I am 15 years old and I live in ( ma ville ) since my birth. I like this city. I am small, I have brown hair at the middle-lengths and blue eyes. I have glasses and I have some freckles of redness on the face. I am only girl. I am rather stubborn but optimistic but I try to have always the smile. At the school, I hate to give a talk! My favorite subjects are the mathematics and the biology. I don't love too much the school because I hate the routine. Furthermore, I like the culinary specialities of my country of origin, Italy. I practise two hours of swimming a week and I like that! I swim for 10 years! This year, I also play badminton once a week.
My father is an electrician and my mother is retired. I like being on holidays and making nothing. Watch TV or innovate in cooking! I do not often travel but I like visiting new countries. I went in Italy, Spain and Germany! I would like going in Australia, to Canada and in Florida! I had a guinea pig but he died. I kept it 5 years. I would like to live in a house with a garden and to have a cat. I do not still know yet what i’d like to do later but I would rather like to be in the medicine. To finish, my dream would be to be able to see and touch the persons who died and whom we loved.

Je vous remercie par avance du temps que vous aurez pris et pour vos réponses.


Réponse: Correction de présentation anglais de seb06000, postée le 01-11-2009 à 18:45:25 (S | E)
bonsoir,

Petit rappel: les devoirs sont donnés en avance ( je parle en connaissance de cause) donc les devoirs 'en urgence' sont ceux que l'on a oublié...

"My name is Clarisse but my friends call me Cla. I am 15 years old and I live in ( ma ville ) since my birth (en anglais on passera par une phrase complexe => since I ....) . I like this city. I am small, I have brown hair at the middle-lengths and blue eyes. I have glasses and I have some freckles of redness (freckles suffit) on the face. I am only girl. I am rather stubborn but optimistic but I try to have always the smile (expression à revoir; passez par un adjectif) . At the school (pas d'article), I hate to give ( construction de hate à revoir => préposition) a talk! My favorite subjects are the mathematics and the biology (pas d'articles devant les matières) . I don't love too much the school (article) because I hate the routine (article) . Furthermore, I like the culinary specialities (voc) of my country of origin, Italy. I practise two hours of swimming a week and I like that! I swim (temps à revoir, expression de la durée) for 10 years! This year, I also play badminton once a week.
My father is an electrician and my mother is retired. I like being on holidays and making nothing. Watch TV or innovate (il faut nominaliser ces deux verbes par un ING) in cooking! I do not often travel but I like visiting new countries. I went in (preposition) Italy, Spain and Germany! I would like going in (idem) Australia, to Canada and in Florida! I had a guinea pig but he died. I kept it 5 years. I would like to live in a house with a garden and to have a cat. I do not still know yet ( expression de encore) what i’d like to do later but I would rather like to be in the medicine. To finish, my dream would be to be able (tournure à revoir) to see and touch the persons who died and whom we loved.


Amicalement

sebastien


Réponse: Correction de présentation anglais de overshambles, postée le 01-11-2009 à 19:05:39 (S | E)
Voilà ma correction mais j'ai eu du mal à corriger certaines fautes et en particulier celles que je n'ai pas du tout corriger

"My name is Clarisse but my friends call me Cla. I am 15 years old and I live in ( ma ville ) since I was born. I like this city. I am small, I have brown hair at the middle-lengths and blue eyes. I have glasses and I have some freckles on the face. I am only girl. I am rather stubborn but optimistic but I try to be smiling . At school , I hate to give ( construction de hate à revoir => préposition) a talk! My favorite subjects are mathematics and biology . I don't love too much school because I hate routine . Furthermore, I like the culinary specialities (voc) of my country of origin, Italy. I practise two hours of swimming a week and I like that! I swam for 10 years! This year, I also play badminton once a week.
My father is an electrician and my mother is retired. I like being on holidays and making nothing. Watching TV or innovating in cooking! I do not often travel but I like visiting new countries. I went to Italy, Spain and Germany! I would like going to Australia, to Canada and in Florida! I had a guinea pig but he died. I kept it 5 years. I would like to live in a house with a garden and to have a cat. I do not know yet what i’d like to do later but I would rather like to be in the medicine. To finish, my dream would be to see and touch the persons who died and whom we loved. "

Je vous remercie pour l'attention que vous avez porté à mon travail donc grand
Merci pour le rappel





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