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Correction /London trip

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Correction /London trip
Message de sardine2504 posté le 03-05-2010 à 22:33:28 (S | E | F)

Bonjour!
je dois faire un texte pour raconter mon voyage à Londres de en 250 words mots mais je pense que c'est bourré de fautes! de plus je fais beaucoup de répétitions du style: pretty, nice, beautiful, very,
pouvez-vous m'aider à le corriger s'il vous plaît ?

London trip.

during this trip in england, i have discovered many new things. i discovered london where i had never visited before. i'ts a beautiful city. i loved seeing buses in every steet (corner?)! and cars are very original compared to france.
the visits that i most appreciated was hathaway cottage. it was really cool to see where shakespeare lived and it was really a very nice place.
visits were very nice but a bit too short, unlike the bus that time was too long!
My favorite moment is of course the afternoom shopping the last day. londoners have a specific style of clothing and i love it!
stores are nice and not too expensive unless abercrombie & fitch, a beautiful shop.
oxford street, regent street and picadily circus are all very attractive. i took many photos.
And to finish my experience in a host family: it's was very nice too, as in australia , then what was better was we were more per familyb ut, as a consequence we talk less to the family but most we us. it was very nice to see london life

Oh, by the way, i was very surprised to see that the british drove in the middle of the road almost all the time i except if they pass another car! i didn't know. i'ts strange!

To conclude, i really enjoyed myself during this trip and i would come in london in july with my sister, she'll love this city.

Voilà! merci d'avance pour votre aide!

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 04-05-2010 07:09


Réponse: Correction /London trip de ricou81, postée le 04-05-2010 à 10:50:08 (S | E)

Bonjour,

tu es apparemment fachée avec les majuscules.

i au lieu de I, London, France, Picadilly, July et après les points.

Quelques coquilles aussi, steet au lieu de street, afternoon et pas afternoom. Autrement, the visits (pas de s).

-the bus trip which was too long

-was of course

-we talked less to the family

-except when they pass

-I will go to London in July

Je pense qu'avec ces quelques modifs pour commencer le texte aura une autre allure, même si l'original était déjà pas mal du tout.

Bon courage




Réponse: Correction /London trip de laure95, postée le 04-05-2010 à 10:57:49 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Voici ce que tu dois corriger:
(mettre 1 possessif) London trip.

during this (THIS s'utilise dans 1 phrase au présent) trip in england, i have discovered many new things. i discovered (répétition) london (majuscule!) where i had never visited before. i'ts (mal écrit) a beautiful city. i loved seeing buses in every steet (orthographe) (corner?: si tu veux)! and cars are very original compared to france.
the visits that i most appreciated (bilan: présent perfect) was hathaway cottage. it was really cool to see where shakespeare lived and it was really a very nice place.
visits were very nice (répétition) but a bit too short, unlike the bus that time (mal dit) was too long!
My favorite moment is of course the afternoom (orthographe) shopping the last day. londoners have a specific style of clothing and i love it!
stores are nice and not too expensive unless abercrombie & fitch, a beautiful shop.
oxford street, regent street and picadily circus are all very attractive. i took many photos.
And to finish my experience in a host family: it's was very nice too, as in australia , then what was better was we were more per familyb ut, as a consequence we talk (temps!) less to the family but most we us. it was very nice to see london life

Oh, by the way, i was very surprised to see that the british drove in the middle of the road almost all the time i except if they pass another car! i didn't know. i'ts strange!

To conclude, i really enjoyed myself during this trip and i would come in london in july with my sister, she'll love this city.


Où sont les majuscules aux noms propres?

Pour les répétitions, utilise 1 dictionnaire.


Réponse: Correction /London trip de sardine2504, postée le 04-05-2010 à 13:08:29 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Voilà j'ai corrigé un peu mon texte grâce à vos conseils! merci! Et désolée pour les majuscules!
Oh et j'ai coloré en rouge deux expressions dont je ne suis pas sûre !
Pouvez-vous me dire ce que vous pensez de mon texte maintenant ?
Merci!

London trip.

During this trip in England, I have discovered many new things. I discovered London where I had never visited before. It's a beautiful city. I loved seeing buses in every street corner! And cars are very original compared to France.
The visit that i most appreciated was Hathaway cottage. It was really cool to see where shakespeare lived and it was really a enough nice place.
Visits were very pleasant but a bit too short, unlike the bus trip which was too long!
My favorite moment was of course the afternoon shopping the last day. Londoners have a specific style of clothing and I love it!
Stores are nice and not too expensive unless Abercrombie & fitch, a lovely shop.
Oxford street, Regent street and Picadily circus are all very attractive. I took many photos.
And to finish my experience in a host family: it's was very nice too, as in Australia , then what was better was we were more per family but, as a consequence we talked less to the family but most we us. It was very nice to see london life.

Oh, by the way, I was very surprised to see that the British drove in the middle of the road almost all the time I except when they pass another car! I didn't know. I'ts strange!

To conclude, I really enjoyed myself during this trip and I will go in London in july with my sister, she'll love this city.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 04-05-2010 16:46


Réponse: Correction /London trip de sardine2504, postée le 04-05-2010 à 18:02:28 (S | E)
personne ?


Réponse: Correction /London trip de gerondif, postée le 04-05-2010 à 18:28:48 (S | E)
Bonsoir,
London trip.

During this trip in England, I have discovered many new things. I discovered London where(ne va pas avec visited: that I had never visited ou bien where I had never been) I had never visited before. It's a beautiful city. I loved seeing buses in every street corner! And cars are very original compared to France.(plutôt compared to French ones, tu compares les voitures entre elles)
The visit that I most appreciated (that I appreciated the most serait plus puissant)was Hathaway cottage. It was really cool to see where Shakespeare lived and it was really a enough(à mettre derrière nice) nice place.
Visits were very pleasant but a bit too short, unlike the bus trip which was too long!
My favorite moment was of course the afternoon shopping the last day. Londoners have a specific style of clothing and I love it!
Stores are nice and not too expensive unless(except) Abercrombie & fitch, a lovely shop.
Oxford street, Regent street and Picadily circus are all very attractive. I took many photos.
And to finish ,(last but not least, expression utile ici) my experience in a host family: it's was(2 verbes être !) very nice too, as in Australia , then what was better was we were more per family but, as a consequence we talked less to the family but most we us (more to each other). It was very nice to see london life.

Oh, by the way, I was very surprised to see that the British drove in the middle of the road almost all the time I except when they pass another car! I didn't know. I'ts(it's) strange!

To conclude, I really enjoyed myself during this trip and I will go in (déplacement: to London) London in july with my sister, she'll love this city.



Réponse: Correction /London trip de ricou81, postée le 05-05-2010 à 09:09:53 (S | E)
Bonjour
pour finir, j'avais oublié l'orthographe de Picadilly (avec deux l)



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