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Correction texte 2nd ! ! !

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Correction texte 2nd ! ! !
Message de olyday posté le 17-10-2010 à 16:29:49 (S | E | F)
Je dois faire un petit commentaire composé concernant le tableau de Norman Rockwell
" Freedom From Want " (Lien Internet

Pouvez-vous m'aider à corriger mes fautes s'il vous plaît? Je vous remercie par avance.

This document is a board painted in 1943 by Norman Rockwell. The name of this painting is "Freedom from Want". It’s 116X90 cm and is exposed in the Norman Rockwell Museum of Stockbridge. This board presents a very famous feast in the United States: the Thanksgiving. It’s about a dinner celebrated last Thursday of November to thank God for having allowed the colonists to survive the hardness of the winter. Norman Rockwell was inspired by the American president Franklin D. Roosevelt to paint this work which is a part of a set of four paintings, "The Four Freedoms" with "Freedom from Want", "Freedom of speech", "Freedom of Worship and Freedom from Fear ". At first, we go to see the description of the painting and then the artist’s goal.

- In the center, the grandmother, who prepared the meal because she wears an apron, brings the dish to put it in the center of the table.
- The main element of this painting is the turkey. It’s enormous what shows the abundance of the meal but is also in warm color what has it makes very tasty.
At the top of the board is the grandfather. It is the only one in black what means that he’s the patriarch of the family.
In the background of the painting we want to see white curtains which allow to pass the light. The colors are clear, pastels what makes it a very soothing atmosphere.
At the bottom of the board, there is a table with a white tablecloth as well as members of the family on each side of the table. Certain persons discuss together what gives an impression of good relations between the characters of the family and a good term with each other.
In the bottom right corner is the artist, it is a wink. It’s perhaps his family.

In this painting, Norman Rockwell wanted to present us a religious feast in a simple and harmonious decoration. Indeed, the painter wanted to show us that it was about a sharing feast where the family gathering to spend a good moment. This board is very hapiness and everybody is happy to meet and to share a copious meal. The atmosphere is pleasant, serene and warm. Rockwell paints here a shape of idealism of the American religious feasts which he summarizes by saying: " to paint the life as I would want whether it is ".





Réponse: Correction texte 2nd ! ! ! de gerondif, postée le 17-10-2010 à 18:08:37 (S | E)
Bonjour,

This document is a board(pourquoi une planche? ah, une table ?? ou board pour blackboard, le tableau du prof) painted in 1943 by Norman Rockwell. The name of this painting is "Freedom from Want". It’s 116X(prononcer by pour dire par)90 cm and is exposed in the Norman Rockwell Museum of Stockbridge. This board presents a very famous feast (j'aurais mis celebration mais le dictionnaire donne feast comme "fête religieuse) in the United States: the Thanksgiving. It’s about a dinner celebrated on the last Thursday of November to thank God for having allowed (allowing suffirait) the colonists to survive the hardness(pour le climat, harshness irait mieux) of the winter. Norman Rockwell was inspired by the American president Franklin D. Roosevelt (The President is here /*President Obama is here) to paint this work which is (a) part of a set of four paintings, "The Four Freedoms" with "Freedom from Want", "Freedom of speech", "Freedom of Worship and Freedom from Fear ". At first, we go(présent en ing) to see the description of the painting and then the artist’s goal.

- In the center, the grandmother, who prepared the meal because she wears (présent en ing) an apron, brings the dish to put it in the center of the table.
- The main element of this painting is the turkey. It’s enormous what(what annonce ce qui va suivre: ce que. Which résume ce qui précède, après une virgule: ce qui. I don't know what you want. He is absent, which is annoying) shows the abundance of the meal but is also in warm color ,what has it makes (mauvaise construction: He speaks slowly, which makes it easier)very tasty.
At the top of the board is the grandfather. It(He) is the only one in black what means that he’s the patriarch of the family.
In the background of the painting we want to (pourquoi vouloir? we can see)see white curtains which allow to pass (mal construit, le verbe allow est trop sérieux, donner l'autorisation de, essayez avec let)the light. The colors are clear, pastels what makes it a very soothing atmosphere.
At the bottom of the board, there is a table with a white tablecloth as well as members of the family on each side of the table. Certain persons discuss together, what gives an impression of good relations (relationship)between the characters of the family and a good term(??) with each other.
In the bottom right corner is the artist, it is a wink. It’s perhaps his family.

In this painting, Norman Rockwell wanted to present to us a religious feast in a simple and harmonious decoration. Indeed, the painter wanted to show us that it was about a sharing feast where the family gathering to spend a good moment(français traduit. expression: I had a good time!). This board is very happiness(c'est un nom) and everybody is happy to meet and to share a copious meal. The atmosphere is pleasant, serene and warm. Rockwell paints here a shape(c'est une vraie forme d'objet tangible) of idealism of the American religious feasts which he summarizes by saying: " to paint the(la vie en général, pas de the) life as I would want whether it is (méchant charabia de français traduit comme je voudrais qu'elle soit...).





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