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Correction expression écrite

<< Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction expression écrite
Message de bakal posté le 24-01-2011 à 15:21:28 (S | E | F)
Bonjour à tous,
j'ai fait une expression écrite sur le sujet suivant:
Should parents interfere with their childrens' choices ?

Pourriez-vous souligner mes erreurs afin que je les corrige
Je vous en remercie d'avance

Nowadays, parents influence many children's choices. It may be due to the fact that they had experience of life contrary to their child. It's a subject often debated in different family. It's true to say that it's difficult to impose something to a child which they don't want. We will broach this subject through various exemples and to weight the pros and cons.

Firstly, parents have experience of life. So they can prevent their children from making the same mistakes that themselves.
Indeed they want the best for their children as their education or relationships. For instance, a father who has failed his studies in the past will insist that his child succeed at school in order to be proud of him. That's why the parents express a big will of succes for their children. Consequently, whatever we may say the parets will often want to interface with their children's choices.

Secondly, children need freedom reached adolescence, it's important to let them make choices in order to adjust them to working life. Indeed, they will soon have to take important decisions without their relatives.
Moreover, if your child is fascinated by something or a job, it is necessary to let him go towards his decision. Indeed what the parents consider good for their children does not always correspond to children's preferences.
For exemple, it's not necessary to impose your child to do sport if he doesn't want because he will not be able to bloom in this activity and it will have repercussions on him.

Personally, i believe parents must advise but not oblige their children 's choices because they have to let him for taking decisions in order to be responsable.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 24-01-2011 15:37
C'est un sujet à la mode!
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Réponse: Correction expression écrite de laure95, postée le 24-01-2011 à 16:18:24 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Voici ce que tu dois corriger:
Nowadays, parents influence many (mettre 1 possessif) children's choices. It may be due to the fact that they had (pourquoi le prétérit?) experience of life contrary to their child(ren). It's a subject often debated in different family (mettre au pluriel). It's true to say that it's difficult to impose something to a child which they (mettre tout au singulier ou au pluriel) don't want. We will broach this subject through various exemples (orthographe) and to weight (orthographe: écrit ainsi, c'est le nom, pas le verbe) the pros and cons.

Firstly, parents have experience of life. So they can prevent their children from making the same mistakes that (pas le bon mot: c'est une comparaison) themselves.
Indeed they want the best for their children as their education or relationships. For instance, a father who has failed his studies in the past will insist that his child succeed (conjugaison) at school in order to be proud of him (or her). That's why the parents express a big will of succes (orthographe) for their children. Consequently, whatever we may say the parets will often (mettre au présent) want to interface with their children's choices.

Secondly, children need freedom when they reached (pourquoi le prétérit?) adolescence, it's important to let them make (possessif) choices in order to adjust them to working life. Indeed, they will soon have to take important decisions without their relatives.
Moreover, if your child is fascinated by something or a job, it is necessary to let him (or her) go towards his decision. Indeed what the parents consider as good for their children does not always correspond to (possessif) children's preferences.
For exemple, it's not necessary to impose to your child to do sport if he (or she) doesn't want to do it because he will not be able to bloom in this activity and it will have repercussions on him.

Personally, i believe parents must advise but not oblige their children 's choices because they have to let him (them) for taking (infinitif sans TO) decisions in order to be responsable (orthographe).

A good essay!



Réponse: Correction expression écrite de lucile83, postée le 24-01-2011 à 16:34:54 (S | E)
j'ajoute vite une horrible faute en plus du bon travail de laure:
Personally, i believe parents

Don't you know we have to write it I?



Réponse: Correction expression écrite de bakal, postée le 24-01-2011 à 17:40:29 (S | E)
Merci beaucoup

Par contre je ne comprends pas une de mes erreurs
à la phrase "doesn't want to do it because he will not be able to bloom" pourquoi vous avez surligné to do it en vert ?

Meric encore



Réponse: Correction expression écrite de gerondif, postée le 24-01-2011 à 19:42:19 (S | E)
Bonsoir,

ce sujet a déjà été traité sur ce forum, sujet de bac 2010

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