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Rédaction sur les langues

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Rédaction sur les langues
Message de cecile17 posté le 18-02-2011 à 20:15:33 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir à tous!
Voilà, je dois écrire une rédaction sur le sujet suivant:
Est-il indispensable de maîtriser une langue pour communiquer? A quel point est-ce important de savoir parler d'autres langues pour vous?
Voici ce que j'ai fait, pourriez-vous m'indiquer mes erreurs s'il vous plaît?
Merci d'avance

The first thing that needs to be said is that we must tell carefully the different meanings of the term communicate apart. It seems to me we can exchange a few phrases without speaking fluently a language, just knowing some words. In that case, we can’t hold a whole conversation with a foreigner; we just can ask information as a tourist. Thus, it is important to master a language if we aim at conveying precise ideas, arguing opinions…Indeed, a language constitutes a link between populations and if we assimilate a lot of vocabulary, we can express an accurate thought.
On the other hand, languages play another role in our society. They account for a decisive argument to get a job, because of the worldwide market. More and more companies own subsidiaries all around the world and employees have to accommodate themselves to this new trend. What’s more, lots of international organizations appear, such as “European Union”, “ALENA” or “MERCOSUR”. It is not enough to communicate: we have to be able to talk finance or diplomacy, at a time when international affairs are the most influent compared to national issues. That’s why employers are looking for people mastering foreign languages, especially uncommon ones: to make sure they could bargain on the world scale. For instance, China has become the first economic power and master Chinese is a real asset.
However, there are some jobs with which it is not compulsory to master a foreign language. But if we want a job with human contacts, I feel strongly that we must learn them…

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 18-02-2011 20:37



Réponse: Rédaction sur les langues de notrepere, postée le 19-02-2011 à 00:53:40 (S | E)
Bonjour

The first thing that needs to be said is that we must tell carefully the different meanings of the term communicate apart*. It seems to me we can exchange a few phrases without speaking fluently [après language] a language by just knowing some words. In that ['this' vaut mieux] case, we can’t hold a whole conversation with a foreigner; we just can ask [verbe à particule; il manque une préposition 'to ask ___'] information as a tourist. Thus, it is important to master a language if we aim at conveying precise ideas, arguing opinions…Indeed, a language constitutes [il ne va pas; un autre verbe] a link between populations and if we assimilate a lot of vocabulary, we can express an accurate [figures are accurate; thoughts are precise] thought.

On the other hand**, languages play another role in our society. They account for a decisive argument [cette phrase n'est pas claire; maladroite] to get a job, because of the worldwide market. More and more companies own subsidiaries all around the world and employees have to accommodate [s'adapter] themselves to this new trend. What’s more, lots of international organizations appear [present perfect], such as the “European Union”, “ALENA” or “MERCOSUR”. It is not enough to communicate: we have to be able to talk finance or diplomacy at a time when international affairs are the most influent [forme du mot] compared to national issues. That’s why employers are looking for people mastering*** [forme du mot; maladroite] foreign languages, especially uncommon ones: to make sure they could bargain [il ne va pas] on the world scale ['market' vaut mieux]. For instance, China has become the first [non, 'leading' en ce cas] economic power and master [gerund] Chinese is a real asset.
However, there are some jobs with which it is not compulsory to master a foreign language. But if we want a job with human contacts, I feel strongly that we must learn them…

* tell apart (verbe à particule) il ne va pas; 'distinguer' vaut mieux

** On the other hand - presents an opposing argument; il ne va pas dans le contexte.

*** Par exemple: I'm looking for someone who has mastered this subject.



Réponse: Rédaction sur les langues de violet91, postée le 19-02-2011 à 10:30:29 (S | E)
Bonjour ,

Cet " essay " au 1er jet est fort bien pensé, construit et rédigé.
J'opine du chef , np, quand tu mets l'accent sur " les outils de liaison" ou articulations de l'argumentation .
Il faudrait recaser : yet, still...on ( the) one hand/ on the other hand../ ..firstly, secondly..moreover( en outre)...whereas( alors que)..
-- et terminer la démonstration avec une question ouverte qui ne clôt pas le débat ..

Good luck !



Réponse: Rédaction sur les langues de cecile17, postée le 19-02-2011 à 14:18:28 (S | E)
Bonjour,

Merci beaucoup pour votre aide! Voici ce que je propose:

Let’s first distinguish carefully the different meanings of the term communicate. It seems to me we can exchange a few phrases without speaking a language fluently, by just knowing some words. In this case, we can’t hold a whole conversation with a foreigner; we just can ask for information as a tourist. Thus, it is important to master a language if we aim at conveying precise ideas, arguing opinions, sharing feelings…Indeed, a language federates populations and if we assimilate a lot of vocabulary, we can express a precise thought.
Moreover, languages play another role in our society. They are a decisive argument to get a job, because of the worldwide market. More and more companies own subsidiaries all around the world and employees have to adapt to this new trend. Above all, lots of international organizations have appeared, such as the “European Union”, “ALENA” or “MERCOSUR”. It is not enough to communicate: we have to be able to talk finance or diplomacy, at a time when international affairs are the most influential compared to national issues. That’s why employers are looking for people who can master foreign languages, especially uncommon ones, just to make sure they could trade on the world market. For instance, China has become the leading economic power and mastering Chinese is a real asset.
However, there are some jobs with which it is not compulsory to master a foreign language. But if we want a job with human contacts, I feel strongly that we must learn them…




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