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Birthday/ invitation

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Birthday/ invitation
Message de tsape01 posté le 19-01-2012 à 02:01:58 (S | E | F)
Bonsoir !

Je poste rarement des devoirs car je passe la plupart de mon temps à étudier sur le guide de travail mais cette fois j’ai rédigé un texte et j’aimerais s’il vous plaît que vous me corrigiez.
Limbe 19th January 2012

My sister has invited me at her birthday. She lives in London because when she finished her studies here in Cameroon, my mother decided that it will be better that she goes to London to continue her studies. She is my big sister. I follow her directly and I have a little brother who is called Claude.She is there since five years. She send my invitation by e-mail and I want to answer her e-mail (I’m in Cameroon).

Dear Stephanie,
I read your message yesterday and I’m so happy. Thanks for your invitation.
At the first time, I’m very happy that you’re fine as well as your family.
The live here in Cameroon is not easy. As far as I am, every think is fine. I have finished my vocational training in accountancy but until now I haven’t found a work which doesn’t make me happy. Now to occupy me I work like shop assistance in a warehouse. As we are on holiday Claude is making a job in a hotel and at about seven o’clock he makes an English course in an Institute to improve his English language.
I’m very sorry but I can’t come in England. As you know our mother is seriously sick and the money which I earn is insufficient to cure our mother. Yesterday she has been not eating for two hours. Tomorrow she and I will be going to the hospital at 6 o’clock. Her doctor has been telling me the last week that her sickness become complicated and she must be operated. When I was telling him that I don’t have enough money to pay operation he told me that the hospital will pay a part and that I must manage me to pay the second part. I have been talking with him for thirty minutes and he told me all what I can do for the operation of our mother. I have already spoken with mother about the operation and she has been agreed with me. She also wants that we operate her.
It’s why I can’t come to your birthday. You understand? I will also be lending money in bank the day after tomorrow with interest and I want also that you sent your one participation. I will be waiting your money at about half past twelve (am) because we operate mother at about fifteen to two. Having talked to the other member of our family they said that we have all their support. I hope you understand. I wish our mother felt well. What I’m not happy of is that I could not come to England to celebrate your birthday believe me.
But for you birthday I wish you a HAPPY NEW YEAR. I wish Got the almighty protect you and be your guard along your live. I will have left orders to Claude in case you call.
I am looking forward to hearing from you.
tsapeo1


Je dis merci en avance pour vos réponses.
tsape01

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 19-01-2012 08:08
Nous ne notons jamais les textes; demande effacée.




Réponse: Birthday/ invitation de notrepere, postée le 19-01-2012 à 05:51:04 (S | E)
Bonjour

My sister has invited me at her birthday. She lives in London because when she finished her studies here in Cameroon, my mother decided that it will would be better that she goes for her to go to London to continue her studies. She is my big sister. I follow her directly and I have a little brother who is called Claude. She is there since five years. She send my invitation by e-mail and I want to answer her e-mail (I’m in Cameroon).


Dear Stephanie,
I read your message yesterday and I’m so happy. Thanks for your invitation.
At the first time (First of all?), I’m very happy that you’re fine as well as your family.
The live here in Cameroon is not easy. As far as I (As for me,) (am), every think is fine. I have finished my vocational training in accountancy but until up til now I haven’t found a work which doesn’t make me happy. Now to occupy myself I work like [article manquant] shop assistance in a warehouse. As we are on holiday Claude is making a job in a hotel and at about seven o’clock he makes an English course in an Institute to improve his English language.
I’m very sorry but I can’t come in England. As you know our mother is seriously sick and the money which I earn is insufficient to cure our mother. Yesterday she has been not eating for two hours. Tomorrow she and I will be going to the hospital at 6 o’clock. Her doctor has been telling me the last week that her sickness become complicated and she must be operated on. When I was telling him that I don’t have enough money to pay for an operation he told me that the hospital will pay a part and that I must manage me to pay the second part. I have been talking with him for thirty minutes and he told me all what I can do for the operation of our mother (forme possessive vaut mieux). I have already spoken with mother about the operation and she has been agreed with me. She also wants that we operate her.
It’s why I can’t come to your birthday. You understand? I will also be lending money in bank the day after tomorrow with interest and I want also that you sent your one participation. I will be waiting for your money at about half past twelve (am) because we operate mother at about fifteen to two. Having talked to the other members of our family they said that we have all their support. I hope you understand. I wish our mother felt well. What I’m not happy of is that I could not come to England to celebrate your birthday believe me.
But for your birthday I wish you a HAPPY NEW YEAR. I wish Got the almighty protect you and be your guard along your live. I will have left orders to Claude in case you call.
I am looking forward to hearing from you.

-------------------
Modifié par notrepere le 20-01-2012 02:05





Réponse: Birthday/ invitation de tsape01, postée le 20-01-2012 à 12:57:59 (S | E)
Thank you very much notrepere for your correction. This is again an essay.

My sister has invited me to her birthday. She lives in London because when she finished her studies here in Cameroon, my mother decided that it would be better for her to go to London to continue her studies. She is my big sister. I follow her directly (Excusez- moi mais je n’arrive à déterminer le problème qui se pose ici.) and I have a little brother who is called Claude. She has been being over there since five years. She send my invitation by e-mail and I want to answer her e-mail (I’m in Cameroon).


Dear Stephanie,
I read your message yesterday and I’m so happy. Thanks for your invitation.
Firstly I’m very happy that you’re fine as well as your family.
The live here in Cameroon is not easy. As far as I am concerned every think is ok. I have finished my vocational training in accountancy but up til now I haven’t found a work which doesn’t make me happy. Now to occupy myself I work like a shop assistance in a warehouse. As we are on holiday Claude makes a job in a hotel and at about seven o’clock he goes to English course in an Institute to improve his English.
I’m very sorry but I can’t come to England. As you know our mother is seriously sick and the money which I earn is insufficient to cure our mother. Yesterday she hasn’t been eating for two hours. Tomorrow she and I will be going to the hospital at 6 o’clock. Her doctor has been telling me the last week that her sickness become complicated and she must be operated on. When I was telling him that I don’t have enough money to pay for an operation he told me that the hospital will pay a part and that I must manage me to pay the second part. I have been talking with him for thirty minutes and he told me all I can do for our mother’s operation. I have already spoken with mother about the operation and she agreed with me. She also wants to be operated.
It’s why I can’t come to your birthday. You understand? I will also lend money in the bank the day after tomorrow with interest and I want also that you send your own participation. I will be waiting for your money at about half past twelve (am) because our mother will be been operating ( Est-ce que la conjugaison est-elle juste?) at about fifteen to two. Having talked to the other members of our family they said that we have all their support. I hope you understand. I wish our mother felt well. What I’m not happy of is that I could not come to England to celebrate your birthday believe me.
But for your birthday I wish you a HAPPY NEW YEAR. I wish Got the almighty protect you and be your guard along your live. I will have left orders to Claude in case you call.
I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Thanks for all your answers.




Réponse: Birthday/ invitation de notrepere, postée le 20-01-2012 à 16:24:30 (S | E)
Bonjour

My sister has invited me to her birthday. She lives in London because when she finished her studies here in Cameroon, my mother decided that it would be better for her to go to London to continue her studies. She is my big sister. I follow her directly (Excusez- moi mais je n’arrive à déterminer le problème qui se pose ici.) and I have a little brother who is called Claude. She has been being over there since five years. She send my invitation by e-mail and I want to answer her e-mail (I’m in Cameroon).


Dear Stephanie,
I read your message yesterday and I’m so happy. Thanks for your invitation.
Firstly I’m very happy that you’re fine as well as your family.
(The) Life here in Cameroon is not easy. As far as I am concerned every think (everything) is OK. I have finished my vocational training in accountancy but up til now I haven’t found a (inutile; on peut dire 'any work' aussi) work which doesn’t make me happy. Now to occupy myself I work like (comme = like/as selon le contexte; dans le contexte: as) a shop assistance in a warehouse. As we are on holiday Claude makes (faire = do/make en anglais; 'make' ne va pas; essayez 'do') a job in a hotel and at about seven o’clock he goes to an English course in an Institute to improve his English.
I’m very sorry but I can’t come to England. As you know our mother is seriously sick (ill) and the money which I earn is insufficient to cure our mother. Yesterday she hasn’t been (didn't) eating for two hours. Tomorrow she and I will be going to the hospital at 6 o’clock. Her doctor has been telling (temps à revoir; il faut un prétérit) me the last week that her sickness become (has become) complicated and she must be operated on. When I was telling (prétérit) him that I don’t have enough money to pay for an operation he told me that the hospital will pay a part and that I must manage me to pay the second part. I have been talking (idem) with him for thirty minutes and he told me all I can do for our mother’s operation. I have already spoken with mother about the operation and she agreed with me. She also wants to be operated (the operation).
It’s (C'est = It is/That is selon le contexte; dans le contexte "That is" est le meilleur choix) why I can’t come to your birthday. You understand? I will also lend money in the bank the day after tomorrow with interest and I want also that you send your own participation. (Cette phrase est maladroite; I need to borrow money from the bank ...); 'participation' = 'contribution') I will be waiting for your money at about half past twelve (am) because our mother will have her operation at about fifteen to two (a quarter to two). Having talked to the other members of our family they said that we have all their support. I hope you understand. I wish our mother felt well. What I’m not happy about is that I could not come to England to celebrate your birthday believe me.
But for your birthday I wish you a HAPPY NEW YEAR. I wish May God the almighty protect you and be your guard along your life. I will have left orders to (instructions for) Claude in case you call.
I am looking (look) forward to hearing from you.




Réponse: Birthday/ invitation de gerondif, postée le 20-01-2012 à 19:22:49 (S | E)
Hello,

Can I just add my detection of a few typical French mistakes to np's corrections ?

My sister has invited me to her birthday. She lives in London because when she finished her studies here in Cameroon, my mother decided that it would be better for her to go to London to continue her studies. She is my big(ma grande soeur? essayez plutôt my eldest sister) sister. I follow her directly (je viens juste après? you mean you were born next ? you are her younger brother) and I have a little(younger?) brother who is called Claude. She has been being (be est un verbe d'état, pas de ing donc!)over there since(depuis plus une durée n'est pas since!!) five years. She send my invitation by e-mail and I want to answer her e-mail (I’m in Cameroon).


Dear Stephanie,
I read your message yesterday and I’m so happy. Thanks for your invitation.
Firstly I’m very happy that you’re fine as well as your family.
(The) Life here in Cameroon is not easy. As far as I am concerned every think (everything) is OK. I have finished my vocational training in accountancy but up til now (sonne bizarre, essayez so far)I haven’t found a (inutile; on peut dire 'any work' aussi) work,(virgule obligatoire car which résume la phrase précédente) which doesn’t make me happy. Now to occupy myself (français traduit! to keep busy?)I work like (comme = like/as selon le contexte; dans le contexte: as) a shop assistance in a warehouse. As we are on holiday Claude makes (faire = do/make en anglais; 'make' ne va pas; essayez 'do') a job in a hotel and at about seven o’clock he goes to an English course in an Institute to improve his English.
I’m very sorry but I can’t come to England. As you know our mother is seriously sick (ill) and the money which I earn is insufficient to cure our mother. Yesterday she hasn’t been (didn't) eating for two hours. Tomorrow she and I will be going to the hospital at 6 o’clock. Her doctor has been telling (temps à revoir; il faut un prétérit) me the last week that her sickness become (has become) complicated and she must be operated on. When I was telling (prétérit) him that I don’t have enough money to pay for an operation he told me that the hospital will(would?) pay a part and that I must manage me (me débrouiller? français traduit!! enlevez le "me"!))to pay(for) the second part. I have been talking (idem) with him for thirty minutes and he told me all I can do for our mother’s operation. I have already spoken with mother about the operation and she agreed with me. She also wants to be operated (the operation).
It’s (C'est = It is/That is selon le contexte; dans le contexte "That is" est le meilleur choix) why I can’t come to your birthday. You understand? I will also lend money in the bank the day after tomorrow with interest and I want also that you send (structure infinitive du type: "I want you to work")your own participation. (Cette phrase est maladroite; I need to borrow money from the bank ...); 'participation' = 'contribution') I will be waiting for your money at about half past twelve (am) because our mother will have her operation at about fifteen to two (a quarter to two). Having talked to the other members of our family they said that we have all their support. I hope you understand. I wish our mother felt well. What I’m not happy about is that I could not come to England to celebrate your birthday, believe me.
But for your birthday I wish you a HAPPY NEW YEAR. (I wish) May God the almighty protect you and be your guard along your life. I will have left orders to (instructions for) Claude in case you call.
I am looking (look) forward to hearing from you.





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