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Oral/Spaces and exchanges

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Oral/Spaces and exchanges
Message de smargaux posté le 25-05-2014 à 10:51:36 (S | E | F)
Bonjour
je voudrais savoir s'il vous plaît s'il était possible d'avoir un avis et une correction de ma synthèse sur Spaces and exchanges pour mon oral.
Merci d'avance pour vos réponses.

I’m going to talk about the notion of spaces and exchanges. This notion deals with the geographical and symbolic areas that all societies occupied and interaction between men and different societies. Our world is built one the exploration and conquest of new spaces. The difference cultural, economic, sociological and language interaction have shaped and characterized our modern world.
The different spaces of the world are nowadays more and more connected to each other. The exchanges can appear on many forms : people, trade, information. In class, we focused on one form of exchange : the immigration. We can ask ourselves why did people immigrate to the USA? And if it’s really improve their quality of life.

That why, to illustrates this notion i’ve chosen two documents : a recording called crossing over and a picture « The dream »

Mexico can only offer limited jobs opportunities that’s why many Mexicans dream of crossing the border to find success and better prospects in the US. The recording talks about the US-Mexico border who’s one’s of the longest borders in the world. It snakes over San Diego to Brownsville across all sorts of landscapes from mountains to desert. This documents illustrates that the US-Mexico border is very busy but also very dangerous. In fact, there are human trades but also commercial exchanges or drug dealing. But more than hundred of migrants die each year crossing the border.

The picture illustrates the Mexicans’ life in the US. In fact, life in America is not how the same way that they dreamt. They must have found unskilled jobs to survive and live in crumbling accommodation. But the picture especially shows that Mexicans have to demonstrate to become american citizens and don’t live any more in the fear of being sent back to their native country.

I’ve chosen this two document because they show the before/after Mexican’s immigration and all the difficulties they meet during their pursuit of the american dream. That is find a well paid jobs that would allow them to improve their standard of living and make them happy.
To conclude, I think immigrate in USA can be a real opportunity because there are lots of Hispanic celebrities who have lived their American dream by succeeding a career in the Us example, Eva Longoria who grew up on a ranch in Texas and now she has been named one of the most beautiful people and world-famous. But American seems to not be the promise land that she was before and maybe the american dream doesn’t exist anymore. In this case, the real solution is to find way to improve quality of life in Mexico and also find a way to increase jobs opportunities to reduce immigration between those 2 states.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 25-05-2014 19:21


Réponse: Oral/Spaces and exchanges de rantanplan42, postée le 26-05-2014 à 16:58:36 (S | E)
Bonjour,
Un essai de correction :
1)en bleu=erreur
2)en vert =suggestions
3)XXX =éléments manquants

I’m going to talk about the notion of spaces and exchanges. This notion deals with the geographical and symbolic areas that all societies occupied and XXX interaction between men and different societies. Our world is built one the exploration and conquest of new spaces. The difference cultural, economic, sociological and language interaction have shaped and characterized our modern world.
The different spaces of the world are nowadays more and more connected to each other. The exchanges can appear on many forms : people, trade, information. In class, we focused on one form of exchange : the immigration. We can ask ourselves why did people immigrate to the USA? And if it's really improve their quality of life.

In order to illustrates this notion I’ve chosen two documents : a recording called " Crossing over " and a picture « The dream »

Mexico can only offer limited jobs opportunities that’s why many Mexicans dream of crossing the border to find success and better prospects in the US. The recording talks about the US-Mexico border who is one's of the longest borders in the world. It snakes over San Diego to Brownsville across all sorts of landscapes from mountains to desert. This documents illustrates that the US-Mexico border is very busy but also very dangerous. In fact, there are human trades but also commercial exchanges or drug dealing. But more than hundred of migrants die each year crossing the border.

The picture illustrates the Mexicans’ life in the US. In fact, life in America is not the same as what they dreamt. They must have found unskilled jobs to survive and live in crumbling accommodation. But the picture especially shows that Mexicans have to demonstrate in order to become american citizens and in order not to live any more in the fear of being sent back to their native country.

I’ve chosen this two document because they show the Mexican’s immigration before the Mexicans immigrate and after they have immigrated and also all the difficulties they meet during their pursuit of the american dream. That is find a well paid jobs that would allow them to improve their standard of living and make them happy.
To conclude, I think immigrate in USA can be a real opportunity because there are lots of Hispanic celebrities who have lived their American dream by making a career in the Us for example, Eva Longoria who grew up on a ranch in Texas and who has now been named one of the most beautiful and world-famous people. But American seems not to be the promise land that she was before and maybe the american dream doesn’t exist anymore. In this case, the real solution is to find XXX way to improve XXX quality of life in Mexico and also find a way to increase jobs opportunities to reduce immigration between those 2 states.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 25-05-2014 19:21
Bug couleur réparé



Réponse: Oral/Spaces and exchanges de rantanplan42, postée le 27-05-2014 à 17:25:19 (S | E)
A smargaux : je trouve que les deux documents choisis expriment bien la thématique "Spaces and exchanges" et qu'ils sont assez bien analysés.Quant à la longueur ...10 mn pour l'épreuve d'expression orale série L?je ne sais pas si c'est assez long.La prochaine fois j'expliquerai les erreurs.




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