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Correction/Présentation orale

Cours gratuits > Forum > Forum anglais: Questions sur l'anglais || En bas

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Correction/Présentation orale
Message de jackmomow posté le 14-12-2015 à 12:56:52 (S | E | F)
Bonjour,
je dois effectuer une présentation orale enregistrée bientôt (Self-Introduction, entre autres). J'ai écrit un brouillon. Serait-il possible de corriger les éventuelles fautes s'il vous plait ? En vous remerciant !

Hello, and thank you for watching my video. Well now, I will introduce myself. My name is A, I’m 27 years old. I was born in Besançon, in the northeast of France. But, when I was a baby, when I was 2 months, my family and I have moved to Martinique. My father is from Martinique and my mother is from Besançon. So I’ve lived and grew-up, around 14 years, on this island, I have studied in elementary school and middle school. When I was 14, my family and I have moved to France, and we have lodged in Naucelle, a little town in Aveyron. Because my father was a doctor (he is still a doctor today), and he wanted to work in France. So, from 2002 to 2006, I lived In Naucelle, but I was a residential student in a high-school in Rodez.
I live in Toulouse, since 2006. First I’ve studied computer science, then, I have learned the japanese language in order to specialize in technical translation. After my Master's degree in foreign languages, I have worked for two years as a documentalist in a middle-school, in Fonsorbes. Now I’m working as an ICT Assistant Engineer in Jean-Jaures University. I have decided to take this course, this Master, in order to have the level of an engineer in the ICT field.

And now it's over. Thank you for these three months of lessons.
See you soon, goodbye.

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 15-12-2015 06:44


Réponse: Correction/Présentation orale de janorton, postée le 15-12-2015 à 04:09:51 (S | E)
Bonjour,
vos erreurs sont en bleu.

Hello, and thank you for watching my video. Well now, I will introduce myself. My name is A, I’m 27 years old. I was born in Besançon, in the northeast of France. But(Not the best word to use here), when I was a baby, when I was 2 months(combine into one), my family and I have moved(wrong tense) to Martinique. My father is from Martinique and my mother is from Besançon. So I’ve lived(wrong tense) and grew-up, around 14 years, on this island, (use a linking word here otherwise you are just saying that you have been to school) I have studied(wrong tense) in elementary school and middle school. When I was 14, my family and I have moved to France, and we have lodged in Naucelle,(shorten this part) a little town in Aveyron. Because my father was a doctor (he is still a doctor today), and (either remove this word or join this sentence to the previous one) he wanted to work in France. So, from 2002 to 2006, I lived In(lowercase I) Naucelle, but I was a residential student in(different preposition) a high-school in Rodez.
I live(use the present perfect here) in Toulouse, since 2006. First I’ve studied(wrong tense) computer science, then, I have learned(wrong tense) the japanese language(uppercase letter for languages in English, just Japanese sounds better here ) in order to specialize in technical translation. After my Master's degree in foreign languages, I have worked(wrong tense) for two years as a documentalist(I'm not sure what this is? librarian? Clerk?) in a middle-school, in Fonsorbes. Now I’m working as an ICT Assistant Engineer in(different preposition) Jean-Jaures University. I have decided to take this course, this Master,(combine into one) in order to have(try another verb here, to have is very general) the level of an engineer in the ICT field.

And now it's over. Thank you for these three months of lessons.
See you soon, goodbye.

Where I have put 'wrong tense' it has been because you have used the present perfect tense instead of the past tense. 'I have studied' instead of 'I studied' for example. Remember use the past tense when explaining something that has already happened and finished and the present perfect to describe something that is still happening up until the present.
You have lived in Toulouse since 2006. (Still happening)
You lived in Martinique. (No longer happening)




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