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Correction/échange international

Cours gratuits > Forum > Thèmes généraux, jeux || En bas

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Correction/échange international
Message de leaisstudying posté le 18-09-2019 à 17:06:14 (S | E | F)
Bonjour!
Je souhaite partir à l'étranger, à Bishop, Canada, et j'ai réalisé une lettre de motivation ! Je serais extrêmement reconnaissante que certains d'entre vous y jettent un coup d'œil pour me corriger fautes et tournures !
Bonne journée à tous et merci!

Dear X,
Currently a second-year student at the Science University of Montpellier, France, in Biology and Ecology program, I am highly interested in an university exchange next September, both for the wealth of new skills it offers and for the springboard that this experience is in the professional world.

I hold a secondary education diploma in Sciences, with a specialization in Biology-Ecology (gratuated 2018), that I obtained with an average of 19.03/20 ; and then, I studied for a year in La Rochelle, France, for a first year in Biology where I received an annual score of 16/20, placing me at the head of my year group.
My university has a certain number of partnerships with universities in the world, but Bishop's University particularly caught my attention, because of its reputation which is widely established internationally and that I have personally heard very good things.

My project would be to pursue the equivalent of a third year in the higher education (a B.Sc. degree) centre on organisms' biology and ecology, with a view to integrate ultimately a M.Sc. and Ph.D. in order to join one day the research community working on challenges facing ecosystems and biodiversity, especially marine and coastal environments.
Your B.Sc. degree in Biodiversiry and Ecology borders on various areas of study that drives me in particular, in line with my professional projet, covering such a large panel from zoology and plant study to environmental consideration, juxtaposed to fondamental knowledge in biology and ecology ; it would be for me a way to acquire practical and experimental competences that I must comprehend in order to qualify for a professionalization in that field.
I have a very good level of English and I am able to be trained in English language.
Do you consider that my candidature would interest you and may correspond to your aspirations for your students ?
If that is the case, does your third year in Biology and Ecology seem to be consistent with my schooling and my projections ?
I thank you in advance for your consideration of my enthusiasm to join your university for a year,
Best regards,
XXX

-------------------
Modifié par lucile83 le 18-09-2019 17:08


Réponse : Correction/échange international de gerold, postée le 21-09-2019 à 10:19:00 (S | E)
Bonjour leaisstudying

Dear X,
Currently a second-year student at the Science University of Montpellier, France, in a Biology and Ecology program, I am highly interested in an a (le u- de university se prononce "yoo", donc comme si le mot commençait par une consonne) university exchange starting next September, both for the wealth of new skills it offers and for the springboard that this experience is in the professional world.

I hold a secondary education diploma in Sciences, with a specialization in Biology-Ecology (gratuated 2018), that I obtained with an average of 19.03/20 ; and then, I studied for a year in La Rochelle, France, for a first year in Biology where I received an annual score of 16/20, placing me at the head of my year group.
My university has a certain number of partnerships with universities in the world, but Bishop's University particularly caught my attention, because of its reputation which is widely established internationally and that I have personally heard very good things (problème de construction, comme si vous disiez "en raison de ... et que ...", et that ne peut pas reprendre because. Suggestion : because of its reputation, which is widely established internationally, and the very good things I have heard about it).

My project would be to pursue the equivalent of a third year in the higher education (a B.Sc. degree) centre on organisms' biology and ecology, with a view to integrate ultimately a M.Sc. and Ph.D. in order to join one day the research community working on challenges facing ecosystems and biodiversity, especially marine and coastal environments.
Your B.Sc. degree in Biodiversiry and Ecology borders on various areas of study study areas that drives attract (pas de -s, le sujet est "areas") me in particular, in line with my professional projet, covering such a large panel range from zoology and plant study to environmental considerations, juxtaposed to fundamental knowledge in biology and ecology ; it would be for me a way to acquire practical and experimental competences that I must comprehend master in order to qualify for a professionalization in that field.
I have a very good level of English and I am able to be trained in the English language.
Do you consider that my candidature would interest you and may correspond to your aspirations for your students ?
If that is the case, does your third year in Biology and Ecology seem to be consistent with my schooling and my projections projects ?
I thank you in advance for your consideration of my enthusiasm to join your university for a year,
Best regards,



Réponse : Correction/échange international de leaisstudying, postée le 21-09-2019 à 14:15:39 (S | E)
Merci gerold ! Vos corrections sont totalement pertinentes, je m'en saisis directement pour progresser en anglais !
Bonne continuation, merci des tips ! respectueusement



Réponse : Correction/échange international de gerold, postée le 22-09-2019 à 09:26:31 (S | E)
Bonjour leaisstudying

Je suis heureux d'avoir pu vous aider. Bonne chance pour votre candidature à Bishop.




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